First dates… They’re basically exposure therapy but with wine and sometimes a free meal. From nausea to ‘everything’ showers, us ladies do a lot to make a good first impression, we even shave the tops of our toes for gods sake.
First impressions
When it comes to first impressions, our brains run at full capacity and im tired just thinking about it. What do we wear? What if they think im ugly? What if they are ugly? (Don’t even get me started on catfishing, that’s a whole other blog). We overthink every detail, and one that definitely shouldn’t be overlooked? What we order.
I know. As if we don’t have enough to worry about already, and now I’m throwing this at you. But listen, I’m just trying to play Cupid here, and if I can remove any chance of getting dumped over dinner, I will. Let’s be real, the dating pool is shallow, and the men in it? Even shallower.
So, let’s talk game plan.
The obligatory menu stalk
If you’re not checking the menu before you arrive, you’re either lying to yourself or a chaotic risk-taker and honestly, I respect both. But looking ahead takes the pressure off, you won’t have to panic order the first thing you see.
If he hasn’t told you where you’re going yet, there are two possibilities:
- He’s a keeper who has planned a surprise (rare).
- He hasn’t booked anywhere yet and is just covering his ass (unfortunately, more common).
Either way, be prepared.
What to order
DO Order:
- Anything that requires a knife and fork. It gives you control over the size bite your putting in your mouth.
- Pastas are safe, reliable, and won’t cause an existential crisis unless you have dairy or gluten issues that will ruin your night.
- Sushi (but basic rolls, not that woke stuff that you arent sure is real or not). If you can use chopsticks, you look put together and mysterious. If you can’t, you still look cute for trying.
- Seafood but only safe bets like prawns or scallops. If the menu says “Market Price” abort mission immediately unless he is paying (they’re spenny).
- Small plates to share. Effortlessly flirty and great for conversation. Plus, if the date is a massive flop, at least you got variety.
DON'T Order:
- Anything that can splash (ramen, saucey spaghetti, pho). You think you can handle it, but you can’t. The splash zone is unpredictable and your white top will hate you for it.
- Burgers or loaded sandwiches. The second you unhinge your jaw to take a bite, you’ve lost all sex appeal – sorry had to say it.
- Ribs or wings – unless you’re dating a caveman, this is a crime against first-date etiquette. Save the full-body wet wipe and finger licking experience for later.
- Garlicky dishes are a classic rookie mistake. Garlic bread? Fine. Garlic prawns, garlic aioli, garlic overload? Maybe not if you want a kissy kissy.
- Anything that arrives on fire (oddly specific sorry). Yes, it looks cool. No, you won’t recover if the waiter has to assist you in a burn.
One More Tip
Maybe this helps. Maybe it just stresses you out more. Either way, I see you, and I know putting yourself out there for a first date is actual bravery. So, if you do nothing else, give yourself a pat on the back.
Oh, and if he still hasn’t chosen a place yet, do yourselves both a favor and suggest Melbourne Winery. Wine, vibes, and good food? It’s basically the home of new love. We play Cupid here.
